Episode nine is here and so is the first round of quarterfinal action. We kick things off with an unusually long recap of last week’s fight between Tommy Speer and Jon Koppenhaver.

It was interesting to see Mac so dutifully embody the “team” concept as he starts walking out of the gym the minute Jon gets his arm around Tommy’s throat.

Having run out of reasons to appear on camera, Jared gives his take on the fight complete with gratuitous dip spit. I have to believe that with today’s knowledge about chewing tobacco and oral cancer such a move is done purely for spectacle.

I’m not going to pass judgment but Big League Chew is half the price and double the pleasure.

Coach Serra calls a roundtable meeting to figure out the best strategy for picking the quarterfinal fights. He tosses around the idea of pitting Mac vs. Tommy just to stick it to Hughes, but some of the guys feel that cheats them of their opportunity.

Dana and Serra have a sit-down with each fighter to find out who they want to face. George declares himself the best fighter and when asked for the second-best he just kind of stares blankly like he can’t comprehend the question.

I had that same reaction when a reader asked me why anyone would buy Octagon.

John decries Mac’s status as the resident favorite to win it all and looks genuinely anxious to “smash him”. He gets his wish at the fight picks as Dana announces he will fight Mac to start the quarterfinals.

The complete quarterfinal matches as picked by Matt Serra:

1. John Kolosci vs. Mac Danzig
2. Matt Arroyo vs. Troy Mandaloniz
3. George Sotiropoulos vs. Richie Hightower
4. Ben Saunders vs. Tommy Speer

In a mild plot twist, Dana informs Serra that since two of the matches will pit teammates against each other, he must pick two fighters to send to Team Hughes for fight training and cornering.

Serra is understandably annoyed as Hughes not only lambasted Serra’s initial picks, but then went 2-6 in the preliminary fights. He also thinks Dana is missing the bond between fighter and trainer.

Hughes is smirking over Serra’s picks and thinks it will work to his advantage. I seem to remember that same look after the preliminary picks and we all know how that turned out.

During the commercial break we’re treated to yet another Beowulf preview. The movie is boasting it’s use of animation but to me it looks kind of dated - almost like The Polar Express with a lot of swords and sorcery.

I know it wants to attract the male viewer with nude scenes of Angelina Jolie but that ride has more miles on it than my sister’s Corolla.

Anyway, back at the house the guys are starting to get a little tired of Mac’s shtick and the producers treat us to a montage of Mac complaining about everyone and everything.

Mac blames his attitude on cabin fever and orders a bird feeder to help soothe his raging spirit.

Apparently Mac has annoyed more than just his fellow castmates as no bird is seen for days. Naturally the guys torture him by tampering with the feeder.

He then shows up for training moaning about how sick he is of training. He talks about the early part of his career where he had to train by himself including sparring. Now unless he has an alter ego ala Corey Hill/Buddy Rowe, who is he sparring with if he trains alone?

Mac decides (after a moonlight chat) that he’s going to stop being negative and treat the rest of the guys with respect. His first order of business is to be nice to Blake Bowman. I think Mac has confused “nice” with “condescending” as he continues to call Blake derogatory names while professing his admiration for him.

The guys have no trouble making weight and afterwards Dana asks Serra to pick the fighters that will defect to Team Hughes. Serra refuses so Dana resorts to the scientific method of tossing a coin.

Matt and Richie get the short end of the stick and Richie asks for a quick meeting with the Team Hughes coaches to clear the air. He tries to reach common ground but Hughes and company are having none of it.

Hughes calls the meeting “unprofessional” and then gets up and walks out of the room without shaking hands. Fight fire with fire is how they do it in Bettendorf I suppose.

Right before the fight John feels confident about his chances against Mac and believes he has all of Team Serra on his side and about half of Team Hughes. By my calculations he probably has about a third of the viewing audience as well.

Round one begins with a low kick by John. Mac sneaks in a jab. Another low kick and Mac rushes him. John kind of slides into guard where he does very little.

Mac stays busy on top and John eventually powers his way up and tries for a single leg takedown. He can’t secure it and seems content to just hang on. All the while Mac keeps landing shots and looks cool as a cucumber. John looks very rigid.

John continues to clutch Mac’s leg and it becomes apparent that he’ll be spending most of this round using (the less common) lay-n-pray from the bottom. He finally gets to his feet and the fight is paused for mouthpiece maintenance.

Upon resumption John shoots in and Mac stuffs him. Mac then rolls him aside and quickly and easily locks up a rear naked choke.

The fight was completely one-sided and John admits he got his tail kicked. Mac gets back into the locker room and turns in the most maudlin speech since Sally Field at the ’85 Oscars.

Has Mac turned a corner? The producers would like us to think so as the segment ends with a humming bird finding refuge at the International House of Danzig.

Stay tuned next week as the coach’s challenge takes place at the local bowling alley, Serra waffles over his cornering duties and we get treated to two fights in one night!

See you then!